hollywood dreamers
26 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
This is my first post via blackberry, so it will probably be short and replete with errors.
I’m currently sitting in the backroom of a pub on hollywood blvd in hollywood. I ended up here on thje recommendation of my waitress. I asked,” what is there do do within walking distance other than go to ripleys belive it or not or the wax museum.”
She pointed me to this backroom, which is holding open mic night. What could be better than checking out the local talent in hollywood? This city is the maker and destroyer of dreams, right? Must be rife woth hidden talent.
Well, there hasn’t been a whole lot of that yet. But the guyu who is playing now is great. Not a lot of technical proficiejncy on the guitar,but inique spoken word over wawa pedalled guitars. I really like it and can see the influence of Pink Floyd, whose shirt he wears. and, actually, he actually just showed he can actually play.
The dj just said, to describe him, “don’t you just want to drop acid and fuck when you listen to him?”
I have to hand it to people living here. It seems that everyone has a dream. And, like what they have to offer or bot these folks are where the action is, laying it ob the line, trying-win or fail–to make it happen for themselves.
I’m inspired by this attitude.
Celebrate Like You’re Three
16 Jan 2011 1 Comment
in celebration, excitement, Passion Tags: celebration, excitement, gratitude, habits, kids, mental attitude, teens
Kids are amazing. They are old enough to be aware of what’s going on around them and register excitement when their reality aligns with their expectations, yet young enough not to care a whit what anyone thinks about their reaction. They are still completely tapped into the connection between their emotions and the physical expression. They seem to feel emotions in both their minds and their bodies.
As we get older, however, our teenage psyches tell us it’s not cool to get too excited about anything. Blase is what’s cool. The less physical reaction we have as teens, the more in charge we’re led to believe we are, and the closer to adulthood we feel. I recognize now that, as a teen, I was boiling over with emotions: fear, jealously, excitement, lust, pride, and on and on. The mere sight of Todd Jensen in German class left me feeling like could lose my mind screaming, just like the girls at Beatles concerts. But, I knew that would draw all the wrong sort of attention. So, it was a constant struggle to keep the emotions under a fixed mask. For me, I think it had a great deal with trying to figure out social rules and what was “ok” in how I was being. I tried to fly under the radar (whose radar, I don’t know) for long enough to have it all figured out. Then, I imagined, at the end of the whole teenage debacle I would know what was appropriate and unlaughable, finally be able to crack a smile and be assimilated into “normal” society with open arms.
Well, it didn’t really work out like that for me. But, that’s a different story.
Instead, I assimilated the mask. Stoicism became the norm. And, even as I grew to understand that many of my teenage behaviors had outgrown their original intention and usefulness, I never reexamined the mask. If something really great had happened in my life, graduating law school for example, I never really allowed myself to get too excited. I continued behind the mask. And, then, when people asked why I wasn’t excited, I’d have to search for a reason for my lack of emotion. I could usually rationalize this by saying I was fearful of the next time the shoe might fall. “I don’t want to get too excited about graduating, because I still need to pass the bar exams.” The list of next things to worry about was never-ending, so I never celebrated in the moment. And, I honestly believed that this was my fear. Not, that I was coming up with an emotion to match my ingrained physical response.
I remember when this started to break for me.
I was living in Colorado and I had a roommate named Susan. When Susan would start plotting for a fun party, or adventure, she’d do a little happy dance. Her feet would quickly pound up and down like she was in the Flashdance video and occasionally she’d through in a little shuffle. I soon began to find this endearing and started to join in this little dance whenever possible. It felt good. I hadn’t had permission to get excited like that during my entire adult life. Eventually, I worked myself up to doing the dance around other friends, then strangers. The more I celebrated like I was three years old, the better it felt. And, pretty soon, I was back to the place of not caring what other people thought when I celebrated this way.
Most experts will tell you that one key to success is to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. I think it’s just as important to celebrate your achievements in a physical way, let your body feel it. Skip, jump, high five your friends, do the twist, moonwalk. Whatever it is that gets you moving. But, show your excitement with the abandon of this little tyke:
How do you express your excitement?
First Day Successes
15 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Art, Film Tags: art, creative, film, Moving Past Fear, risk
Yesterday was amazing. I was so exhausted from being on an adrenaline high all day that I didn’t even go to my art co-op’s 2nd Friday event. I just curled up and went to bed.
First, I really need to acknowledge and celebrate myself. I set some personal goals related to how I interact with people under new circumstances. Usually, I hang back and assess the situation. I figure out peoples’ relationships to one another, who thinks they’re in charge, who’s REALLY in charge, and who to avoid. Then, after some time passes and I think I have it figured out, I dive in and start meeting people.
But, for yesterday’s event, I decided I need to just dive in right away. After all, this whole episode in my life is born out of the decision to stop being limited by fear. So, why let that philosophy stop at the registration stage?
I got up early, went into the office to get a few things done and headed off early to the school to make sure I was prompt for the beginning of the event. When I showed up, I took some time to briefly chat with the student running the registration table. Then, I realized I was already late! I thought the event started 1/2 hour later than it did! Luckily, I had planned on being early and they had started late, so all I missed was an intro video to the school. I apologized to the Director of the school, Frederic Lahey, and found a seat at the earliest break in the presentations.
While it was nice to put a face on some of the faculty and hear about some of their objectives, plans and philosophies, the best part for me was when I actually got to start interacting with some of the other students. This started happening in the lab when we got an overview to the program we’ll use to check out equipment as I asked a lot of questions and met a student who also lives in Boulder. But, I definitely got to spend more time with students and faculty during the BBQ following our tour of the facilities. I had made it a goal to connect with at least one student and one faculty member. I immediately introduced myself to Carol, who was another over-30 student and we joined the most crowded table. There we met some younger students, Adam, Tate, Alex, John and a shy looking guy who I invited to join us.
I was so excited to be talking to a TABLE full of people who liked to talk about film. Of course, there was obligatory posturing over who knows more about movie trivia than the rest. But, it actually didn’t get too obnoxious. And, when that group broke up, I went to join another group with a faculty member. And, after that broke up, I sat with the last students left. (Who actually turned out to be upper classmen who had wandered in for the free food.)
But, my success with my goal list didn’t end there. I had set for myself a goal of asking Ramin Bahrani at least one question while he was there. Not only did I ask him a question in session. (About how to balance working with amateur actors, having lots of rehearsal and many takes, and keeping the improvisation fresh. His response came down to constantly changing the dialogue to maintain the good pieces that the actors come up with.) but, I also asked him about his role as an artist in residency and what that meant about students’ access to him.
I really enjoyed Mr. Bahrani’s presentation–I have always found him to be very thoughtful. So, it’s nice to hear what that process looks like from the inside out. He did a three hour lecture on Dramatic Storytelling. The main theme was that we should all take cues on clear imagery from the language program, The Rosetta Stone. If the audience can’t tell what the image is really about, you’re not doing it right. Some other points he made:
–Don’t forget to include shots that illustrate the inner workings of your characters
–Always consider whether your scene needs a witness
–He stated that he always edits for PERFORMANCE and EMOTION over continuity
–Always understand the conscious and unconscious wants of your characters and make filming decisions based on those. Including cuts and shot lengths.
–”Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.”
If you aren’t familiar with Ramin Bahrani’s work, you should change that:
Like Christmas Eve
13 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Art, Film, Filmmaking, Manifesting, Passion, Purpose Tags: creative, film, filmmaking, inspiration, manifesting, Moving Past Fear, risk
I am SO excited, I can hardly stand myself. In a “I’ve-been-waiting-for-tomorrow-for-the-past-two-months-the-way-I-used-to-wait-for-Christmas” sort of way. You know, asking my mom how many days it is until Christmas and dreaming at night about that special gift I’d asked for–am I going to get it? Imagining myself running down the stairs to see all pretty packages under the tree, and planning and plotting what the day is going to be like–what it’d feel like, what it would taste like, and what it’d mean when I got what I wanted.
In Landmark, we talk about the future we’re living into and how it affects our present day. If the future I’m living into is Friday night, chances are I’m in a pretty good mood as I await the chance to go out and blow off some steam. If, however, the future I’m living into is going into the office on Monday and having to give a high pressure presentation, chances are I’m not in such a good space in the present moment. Well the future I’ve been living into for the past several months starts tomorrow!! I am taking a double dose of Sleepytime tea tonight because otherwise I’m fairly certain I won’t be able to sleep at all.
Tomorrow is my official orientation for film school. My first day of class is next Tuesday. I feel like I’m the most blessed person on the planet tonight to be able to start down this new path.
I remember the first time I realized there was a world of film outside of Hollywood blockbusters. I had just started law school and was 21 years old. My best friend and I wandered into a local video store and it was her night to pick videos for us to watch. We had been alternating having the honor of picking what we wanted and I had been in a vein of picking British comedies like Fawlty Towers and Are You Being Served. She had been in a vein of watching “chick flicks,” so I was surprised when she picked two films I had never heard of, Ju Dou and The Belly of an Architect.
I’ve always heard that an alcoholic remembers her first drink very vividly. I can’t remember my first experience with alcohol, but I sure remember the feeling and the amazement I had watching those two films. I was blown away by the colors, sounds and images and what I recognize now as the care that the director had for his subjects. I had never watched a film that moved me with its exploration of humanity and a tragic story. The beauty and the poetry of the images struck me so deeply. I had been an English major in undergrad and I had a profound appreciation for the artistry of the written word and was attracted to these elements in novels, but I just hadn’t realized there was a corollary for movies. I remember feeling like the lid had been blown off something for me. And, from that moment I was obsessed.
The store from which we had rented had a computer in the corner with a experimental program–I spent literally hours rating movies I had seen and getting recommendations of foreign and independent films I might like. I watched nearly everything it recommended, constantly fine tuning my ratings and input. I began talking about good films with friends, getting together to share our favorites. I stopped going to most mainstream films and I was probably insufferable at the video store with my narrowing taste on what qualified as worthy of my time to watch. I dreamed of making films and I started to see everyday life in the context of films. I’d daydream about how a scene I’d witnessed on the street would fit into the story arch of a longer movie, what music would go with it and what the pacing and style would be like.
Then, I moved to Colorado and eventually met my best friend here, who was a film major at University of Colorado. While it was an instant bond between us to talk about films, I always had an underlying feeling of jealously that he had been able to attend the coveted FILM SCHOOL. I obsessed about film even more with him, even going so far as to hold interruptus sessions with him, where we’d watch films like Raging Bull or Bladerunner and stop the film to discuss different scenes, shots or set dressings. I just wanted to absorb everything he could tell me about why films I liked worked the way they did. What was it, technically, that set them apart?
And, then, I started hanging out with filmmakers. I helped a number of friends on the sets of their films. I worked on a crew for two years in the Boulder Shoot Out competition. And, I took short seminars on filmmaking. I started keeping a journal on film ideas, storyboards for films and music that would work well one imagined scene or another. I continued to watch and rent “important” and ground breaking films, but never considered that I could actually enroll myself in film school. I was too busy. I was too old. I didn’t have enough money. I didn’t know how to run the camera.
Then I had a huge shift.
My womens’ abundance group got me thinking about what I would do if I had endless money and no debt. It finally came to me that I would go to film school, travel the world and make films that move, inspire and change people. And, once I finally pushed past my fear, I realized that I could afford my local film school and that I actually have time to dive in right now. It feels amazing to have put in motion a dream I’ve had for more than two decades!
Now, I need to spend some time in the field and in front of a computer. I want to figure out what I’m really, really good at in film. I do still have some blockages because I fear that I’m not “good enough” to make important films from around the world. But, my first step in the exploration is showing up at the orientation tomorrow. Wheeeee!
FREE MONEY!
12 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Apogaea, Art, Burning Man, Grant money, Manifesting, Passion Tags: Apogaea, art, Burning man, creative, gifting, grants, manifesting
Calling all artists and creative types! Apogaea, Colorado’s Regional Burn, is in the middle of its Art Grant Cycle, meaning you may receive money to make your art project idea a reality. Awards are not limited to art installations. Visit Apogaea’s website for more information and see below:
My mental workout
11 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Passion, Sports, Triathlon Tags: coaching, mental attitude, Moving Past Fear, Sports, triathlon
Today was a really good day. I’m exhausted, but it was really good.
I met with my trainer today. I’ve been meeting with and talking with coaches left and right lately, but it seems to be helping. This coach is for my triathlon training.
I met my trainer at my regular gym when I needed some inspiration to start getting fit and going to the gym regularly. He and I hit off immediately, so I was disappointed when he stopped training there. But, recently, he got back in touch with me to invite me to meet with him at his new facility. I was excited to go, but not sure that I was ready to consider a new gym. After all, mine has an indoor pool. And a sauna. And a hot tub. And a steam room. Did I happen to mention that I reward myself after every workout with a nice dose of HOT?
Anyway, I was surprised when I arrived to find that he now works out of a small yoga studio. I was also quite concerned that he may ask me to do downward dog with a cast.
But, rather than do any working out, we spent the entire time (2 hours!!) talking about my goal to do an Olympic length triathlon this July. What was I going to get out of it? What was my timeline? What are my goals along the way? What were keys to my success? What did I know would stop me in my tracks.
I’ve done a number of sprint length triathlons, so I know a bit about what that “feels” like. But, I didn’t realize how scared I am of this longer distance. It was great to drag that all out into the light. We talked about alot. This may be blurry, but this whiteboard of our conversation will at least show you how much we delved into. Some time, when I’m not so tired, I’ll write a transcript and dive into it more. But, this should give you a sense:
It felt really good to know that he thinks I can do this, that I have enough time and that I can be strong enough. And, I like that I’ve got a better sense of what I need to be vigilant against in my own brain. The only thing that’s standing in my way is me. That’s going to be the tough part… Only I’m going to be able to get out of my own way, but my coach is going to be able to help me see that I’m standing in the middle of the road.
What’s the biggest way a coach has helped you achieve a goal?
Namaste
11 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Business, Passion, Purpose Tags: Boulder, inspiration, making an impact, manifesting, purpose
I had dinner at a local Nepalese restaurant, Namaste, a few days ago. It’s become a new favorite for me and my boyfriend, boasting a great buffet, relaxing atmosphere, yummy yummy chai, and some of the sweetest servers in town. I’ve never had an experience there in which the waiter wasn’t friendly, present and helpful to our table, and full of humor. It almost makes me want to order off the menu, so I’ll have more interaction with them. And, it’s starting to be that we often know other diners when my boyfriend and I arrive. A definite plus of living in Boulder–such a small town feel.
As we were eating, I noticed a clear box hanging on the wall by the front door. It caught my attention because it almost looked like the needle drop boxes you see at the doctor’s office, only not covered with radiation symbols and other scary warnings. Which, as I’m sure you can imagine, is a pretty alarming thing to think you’ve noticed at the lobby of your new favorite restaurant.
But, then, I noticed that I could see some cash in the box and that there was a poster board full of pictures and articles nearby. So, I figured that this was a collection for a local kid who had gotten sick or a local family who got kicked off their farm and needed to transport their herd of llama to S. Dakota, but didn’t have the money because granny needs her medication and little Johnny is in college. You know, that type of thing.
As we were leaving I wandered over to the board, squinted in an attempt to see the pictures in the dark, and pretty quickly gave up. Just as I was turning to leave, a woman who I think was the owner of the restaurant, given the deference I had seen the servers give her, switched on a light focused on the poster board.
Then, she began explaining.
“This girl,” she says while pointing to a picture of a girl of maybe 7 or 8 squatting on the mud floor of a cramped, dirty room “used to live with her grandmother. She spent all day doing dishes and chores for her grandma and couldn’t go to school.” The girl is filthy, looking up at the camera from behind long, ratted hair. ”This is her a year later, after we took her at my orphanage.” I barely recognize her as the same girl. There are two photos of a clean, beaming girl in a pressed school uniform.
“You run an orphanage?” I ask.
“Yes, this is us in Nepal.” She points to a picture of some adults and a group of children inside what looks like a modern home. ”We have 11 children there now. This is me.”‘
“Wow.”
“Yes, and this girl,” she says as she points to another scraggly looking young girl, “came to us last year too.” I immediately notice the protuberances on both her knees. ”She could not walk when she came to us because of all the arthritis in her knees. She had a swollen stomach. You know, from malnutrition. But, now she is doing much better. She can stand and walk and is healthy.”
“Wow.”
I feel stupid that this is all I can bring myself to say. But, I’m just speechless as I’m stuck by the fact that the woman standing next to me is making such a huge impact on the other side of the globe. The children she has taken in are receiving medical treatment, proper nutrition, and schooling–hope.
My eyes tear up, making it difficult to read the rest of the articles on the poster board, and the woman dissolves back into the activities of the restaurant. I place what I can afford, $5, into the box hanging on the wall.
And, then, as my boyfriend and I head out to the car, it hits me. That’s what I want to do.
I want to run a business that makes the customers feel good and nourishes them in some manner. I want to run a business at which the employees are calm and happy. I want to have a business that earns me enough that I can start another business or nonprofit that helps people in a profound way, maybe on the other side of the globe. I want to have an impact and I want to inspire people to realize that they can have an impact too.
This may be part of why I loved working for the Manjushri Project so much–I felt appreciated and valued as an employee, I loved and respected my boss, and we were up to big things that could affect people on the other side of the globe. And in a way that inspired people to recognize the power their own thoughts and fears have.
I feel like I really need to speak with this woman more. Find out more about her story and how she got to where she is now. I’m going to add it to my agenda and see what I can learn from her.
Namaste, indeed.
Who have you met that has, surprisingly, inspired you?
Practicing New Habits
06 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Business, Manifesting Tags: affirmations, attraction, habits, manifesting, Moving Past Fear, rut
I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately.
The rush of the holidays is gone, the respite I had from deadlines has dissipated, and, well, “I just don’t wanna.” Don’t want to work, don’t want to eat well, don’t want to exercise, and don’t want to get up in the morning. I want to get back to the feeling that something BIG is coming.
But, how did I get here? What happened between feeling larger than life and now feeling safest snuggled under my blankets in the morning? Well, really nothing has happened. It’s only been 4 days since I felt the sparkle. The only thing that has changed is my attitude and what I’m telling myself about my day. Four days ago, I looked at my “to do” list and saw opportunity, change and inspiration. Now, I seem to be coming at it from a spot of dread and overwhelm. Not very powerful stuff. And, I realize that these are just words I’m using in my own mind to describe the day before me. Words. Not reality.
So, how do I get to a better space?
I think I’ve come to realize how much practice, discipline and habit can help me here. After all, the only significant event in the past 4 days has been an increase in stress level as my deadlines loom closer. And, for me, times of stress are exactly why I try to develop good habits. Good habits are a safety net in my mind. When everything around me is in chaos, I still have a road map. I am confident that I can switch to autopilot and still get things done. I can be in utter distress and I will still wear my seatbelt. I’ll still tell people in my life that I love them. I’ll eat, brush my teeth, keep my environment orderly, get through items on my to do list, and get a full night’s sleep. Because these are my habits. And this all helps support my body and mind in getting over the stress.
Part of what I’m facing right now, though, is that I’m very new to the business and thinking habits I’m creating for myself. So much so that during this time of stress, I’ve reverted to my old ways of thinking. My new habits haven’t quite taken yet.
I had a conversation last night that ties into this. Every week, I have a phone conference with women from around the country to discuss our relationship to wealth and abundance. The topic last night was “What blocks do you have to abundance? What can you do to overcome them?” For me, a large block is that I start to doubt myself. Whether it’s because I don’t think I deserve abundance, or I feel guilty about it, or I don’t think I’m capable of success varies. But the ultimate result of the doubt is that I sabotage myself. I stop taking action that would be easy to do. Or, I downright do the wrong thing. For example, I’ve had times that I’ve needed money in my bank to pay bills. I’ve neglected and ignored getting the bills paid because I don’t have any money in my accounts. Meanwhile, I will have let three paychecks sit, uncashed, on my desk. It’s such an easy fix–go deposit the checks and pay the bills. But I punish myself by letting my creditors get close to closing my accounts. Pretty nasty stuff that I’ve done to myself in the past, huh?
Slowly, I’ve been able to overcome these moments. They are fewer and farther between. I’ve begun to overcome this by practicing positive self-speak. It’s getting closer to being habit. Instead of hearing “You don’t deserve this” or “You’re just going to mess this up for yourself” in my mind, I mostly hear, “You’re doing a great job” and “You have nothing to be afraid of.” The habit of telling myself supportive messages has helped turn my finances around. I haven’t sabotaged myself in ages. I am starting, for the first time in my life, to have some savings. I’ll be out of debt soon.
And the same should hold true for all aspects of my life, if I give the positive messages time to become habit. I’ll slowly start to become more proficient and successful in those areas. Which ultimately means that when I’m having times when I feel I’m in a rut, I have a choice. I can ride it out while my mind sinks back into its old habits. Or, I can recognize that this is when I need to reinforce my work on the new habits I’m building. After all, I’m under stress and deeply impressionable. This truly is a time to brainwash myself–but will it be with positivity or negativity?
I choose the positive.
So, how to actually create this for myself? This is where the discipline comes in. It takes a lot of energy to really listen to how we speak to ourselves. I really start to focus on what that little voice in my head is saying–and it’s constantly saying SOMETHING. When I recognize that the thoughts are negative and not helpful to me, I can choose to ignore them. I can visualize putting them in a box in the corner and later taking them to the trash. I can imagine catching them in my hand and blowing them away. But, in some way, I interrupt the thoughts and recognize them for what they are–self-destructive. And, I always make sure to replace them with something positive.
Even if it’s just “You’re doing a great job building new habits.”
Here is a great article on positive affirmations: http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/affirmations.htm I’d love to hear what other tools you use to create a supportive mindset for yourself.
What are your blocks to success and how do you overcome them?
Some unique features
31 Dec 2010 1 Comment
in Gratitude Tags: Michigan, oxycodone, pain meds, snow, snowflakes
Today was the first real snowfall of the season–and it’s almost 2011! I had a great time stomping around in the snow on the way out to the coffee shop with my friend Forest. Somehow, it made me more chatty with the staff. Plus, it made it feel so cozy to just hang out in the shop for a few minutes sipping on a hot beverage.
Forest is a friend I know through Burning Man. This is not his real name, but his “playa name”–given to him at the event by a friend. At the time he was named, Forest worked for the Park Service, thus the nickname. I don’t even know what his real name is, which is not uncommon in the Burning Man community. Forest is in town for a few nights before he heads off to the mountains for New Years. Luckily for him, my roommate is out of town and we were able to offer him up his own room. It always makes me feel good to be able to offer a guest room. Not that I’m in any hurry to lose my roommate, who is also my best friend. I just like being hospitable and I love being able to help people out with a place to stay when they need it.
By mid-morning, when Forest and I went on a grocery run, a few inches had accumulated and it was stunning. My favorite type of snow is the type that squeaks underfoot like styrofoam. I believe that this happens to the snow when it’s really cold outside. And the snow on my car this afternoon is a close second favorite–a light fluffy powder that just flies off the door when you slam it shut. This particular powder was so pretty because you could see each individual snowflake’s pattern. Kind of like this picture, which I didn’t take. But if you can imagine inches of flakes that were as distinct as these, you’ve get the idea:
It’s a bit funny to realize that I now have a favorite kind of snow. I used to HATE snow, and I grew up in Michigan. When people learn this about me they tend to get a confused look and ask, “But, wouldn’t you be used to the cold and snow and have learned to love it?” Let me assure you, this is not how it works. I grew up outside Detroit, where the winters are pretty humid and intense. The days are grey, snow hangs in the air all winter long–that is, when it’s not a freezing rain–snow on the roads immediately turns black, and the resulting ice and black snow don’t melt all winter long. Add to this the fact that the humid wind coming off the lakes just cuts through you. I felt like once my core got cold for the first time in the year, I couldn’t get it heated up again til Spring arrived. So, no, this does not lead to an endearing attitude toward snow, nor cold.
This is one of the reasons that I love living in Boulder so much. The snow is actually pretty. Many times the sun is shining as it snows. And, it melts very quickly. Plus, you get to see nice things like a car roof loaded with snowflakes that you can individually pick out.
One of the things that we picked up at the grocery store was a new prescription for pain killers. I broke my wrist a week ago and have been taking Vicodin. I’ve been able to cut back how often I’m taking it, but my hand still gets very sore and painful by the end of the day. And, since I’ve been taking Vicodin for a few days now, it’s started itching like crazy. So, my doctor thought I should try Oxycodone. I think, however, that I’m going to switch back to the Vicodin if I need to take anything tomorrow. The Oxycodone just did absolutely nothing for the pain. I feel completely out of it, with the only thing I can really focus on being the pain in my wrist. It’s really kind of funny, if I think about it. It seems natural that the woman who broke her wrist while wearing wrist guards should get an increase in pain from her pain medication!
I tried to find more information on this phenomenon online, but wasn’t able to find anything helpful. I’ll just keep hoping I won’t need either tomorrow (especially since I’d really like to drink some champagne for New Years). In either event, I am now too loopy to continue writing with the dolphins and the boots are in the closet.
Happy New Years everyone!
Back from the Orthopedic Office
29 Dec 2010 1 Comment
in Manifesting, Snowboarding, Sports Tags: attraction, broken wrist, cast, manifesting, Snowboarding, triathlon, waterproof cast
I’ve just returned from the orthopedic’s office. I’m exhausted. Let me preface this by admitting that I was geared for a fight. A little background:
My wellness struggle
I am well and healthy. But, I’m over-weight. I really should lose about 40 pounds.
I am not someone who diets. Or, at least I don’t follow fad diets. When I’m paying attention, I just aim to limit my intake, eat healthy food, exercise and let my body take care of the rest. The key to me staying a reasonable weight is working out. But, I don’t really like it that much–I tend to get bored. This wasn’t always the case. Before I shredded my shoulder by playing too much, I used to love volleyball. I’d play every night of the week if I could. Now that it’s not available to me, I have to trick myself into working out.
Trick number one: Sign up for an event that really pushes my limits. It’s got to be something I’m afraid just may kill me if I don’t actually train for it.
Trick number two: Brag to everyone I know that I’m going to do this super hard event. The threat of humiliation if I don’t actually succeed keeps me focused.
Trick number three: Reward myself with a long stay in the hot tub after I’ve worked out. A side benefit to this is that it’s here I do my best problem solving and manifesting.
There’s actually another trick in there, but I’ll tell you about that later.
This season’s over-ambitious goal? I will compete in the Boulder Peak Olympic length triathlon next summer. That’s a 1.5k swim, 40k bike, and a 10k run. I’ve done several sprint length triathlons, so the sport doesn’t scare me. I just have not done one this long. And, I’m pretty sure that if I don’t train, I’ll die.
My last cast
When I broke my other wrist two years ago, I was told that I shouldn’t get my cast wet at all. I had to be careful in the shower, I couldn’t take it near a pool, and, for God’s sake, DON’T SWEAT. I was warned that if I broke a sweat while wearing the cast, an army of stinky, itchy and social-event-wrecking microbes would set up shop, making me Boulder’s most miserable and avoided resident. I had visions of the removal of my cast unveiling a putrid, mildewed arm riddled with something that resembles what I find at the back of my fridge from time to time. So, I didn’t sweat. I turned down offers to go on hikes, I barely went outdoors, I even avoided bowling! My laziness paid off and my cast never itched or gave off a peculiar odor. And, I think I gained about 10 pounds.
Fully Committing
The sit on your butt for 6 weeks afraid to walk across the living room approach does not, however, align with what I’m up to this year. This year, I’ve been playing the game of not letting my circumstances turn into excuses. My circumstances are just things that have happened to me, not a definition of what I can do. When my car broke down this summer, I still upheld all my commitments, I just had to figure out another way to do things. I rode the bus. I walked. I spent a lot of time on my bike. Later, when I was camping far away from wifi and cell phone signals, I still made my phone conference commitments. It just wasn’t an option in my thinking to miss them. I was going to uphold my promises because I said so. So, I figured out a way to make the calls–I borrowed a scooter and trekked to where I could pick up a signal.
And now I’m committed to training for this triathlon. So, when I entered my doctor’s office today, I was geared for a fight over exercise. I initially thought that the doctor must have a solution, since I live in a town brimming with elite athletes. But, my research online kept pulling up stories of folks who were forbidden to workout while in a cast. And, I started believing that the doctor would be too worried about potential liability to tell me I could exercise with a break. But, I was certain I was going to continue training, because I said so.
Luckily, despite being geared up for a fight, I didn’t actually have one. My doctor did, indeed, have a solution. I had to pay extra for it, but the $40 is well worth it. Here is a picture of my shiny new cast:
Rather than placing fiberglass over a cotton wrap, the cast sits atop a cushioned gortex layer. This layer doesn’t absorb any water, so I can run, swim, shower and SWEAT! I am so excited and I’ll post more about my progress as I get to play with it. So far, I’m sold–if you’re an active person, ask your doctor for this option. You may have to pay out of pocket, but it’ll be worth it. And, don’t get yourself all worked up into a lather like I did. Even if your doctor doesn’t have this liner in stock, it can’t be that hard to help the office get some. Follow the link above to get started.
Now I’m off to the gym…
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